Thursday, March 04, 2010

Issues In Biblical Counseling: Interpersonal Conflicts

One of the issues that is a main-liner in Biblical Counseling is the source of interpersonal conflicts. No matter who you are or who you surround yourself with, it seems that we all have interpersonal conflicts from time to time.

So where does this conflict come from? To find the answer to this question we, as always, go to the Word of God.

James 4:1-2 says: "What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel..." (ESV)

The reason for interpersonal conflict is that we are trying to feed our own selfish desires or lusts. We want what we want and frankly, we're willing to sin to get it.

Once we get our heads around the truth that "we do what we do because we want what we want" and according to James we are driven by our selfish lusts and desires, we can begin to make real lasting change.

We must ask ourselves BEFORE speaking or acting - Is what I'm about to say or do pleasing to God, Christlike, glorifying to God and helping me to diligently seek after God?

The key is a change in thinking and that is a topic for another time!


Trishkj said...

Are you suggesting that ALL interpersonal conflict is a result of our own flesh? That if we ask ourselves a list of questions to determine motive before we communicate, that we will irradicate interpersonal conflict?

Pastor Steve Cox said...

Excellent question! If we would look carefully into any given situation either we have acted OR reacted from a base of our emotions most often driven by our base desires. Our goal must be to get to the place where we act and react from a base of Biblical principle or motivation.

No matter how poorly another person may behave or sin toward us, we never have the right to respond in a like sinful manor. That is where the earlier mentioned question help to determine our true motives.

Trishkj said...

Be careful on this. It's not so cut and dry at all. Realistically speaking, my questions aren't yet answered. However, the resulting dialog might help your counseling efforts.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, too heavy for me...
Big Bro