Thursday, November 20, 2008

Funny Funny Stuff

Just like you I receive tons of forwarded emails. I have an opinion
on that but not for this post. Anyway, I got this and thought it
was funny so I'm posting it rather than e-mailing this to you!

You can thank me later!



Number One Idiot of 2008

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology
at the poison
control center. Today, this woman called in very
upset because she caught her
little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
harmful and there
would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She

calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to
mention that she gave
her daughter some ant poison to eat in
order to kill the ants.


I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency
room right
away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Two Idiot of 2008


Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal a life
raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in
getting it out of the plane
and home. Shortly after they took it
for a float on the river, they noticed a
Coast Guard helicopter
coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was
homing
in on the emergency beacon that activated when the raft was

inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.


Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Three Idiot of 2008


A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into
the Branch and
wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While
standing in line, waiting to
give his note to the teller, he began
to worry that someone had seen him write
the note and might
call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he
left
the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo
Bank. After
waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to
the Wells Fargo teller. She
read it and, surmising from his spelling
errors that he wasn't the brightest
light in the harbor, told him that
she could not accept his stickup note because
it was written on
a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have
to
fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.


Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was
arrested a few
minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at
Bank of America.


Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it
anyway.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Four Idiot of 2008


A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and
demanded all of the
cash from the cash drawer. After the
cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber
saw a bottle of
Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.
He told
the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the
cashier refused and said,
'Because I don't believe you are
over 21.' The robber said he was, but the
clerk still refused
to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this
point,
the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave
it to the
clerk.

The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact
over 21 and she put
the Scotch in the bag. The robber then
ran from the store with his loot. The
cashier promptly called the
police and gave the name and address of the robber
that he got
off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.


This guy definitely needs a sign.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Five of 2008


A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously
waving revolvers.


The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved,
the startled first
bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Six of 2008


Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
decided that he'd
just throw a cinder block through a liquor
store window, grab some booze, and
run.

So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at
the window. The
cinder block bounced back knocking him
unconscious. It seems the liquor store
window was made of
Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Seven of 2008


In a semi-rural area of Wisconsin, we recently had a new
neighbor call the local township administrative office to
request the removal of
the Deer Crossing sign on our road.

The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don't think
this is a good place for them to be crossing
anymore.'


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STAY ALERT! They walk among us... and they REPRODUCE...!!!

3 comments:

Joshua James said...

Amusing and entertaining, yet sad but true!

Anonymous said...

funny and weird!

Big Bro

BrianTheGreat said...

Very funny... except the fact these people, or at least people like them are actual voters.